The famous line from Henry Ford is “You can have any colour you want, as long, as it’s black”, and I feel like the wedding industry has been ran the same way, even though it doesn’t have to.
Model T Ford in a wedding photo. Photo by Kristy Weldon Photography
Did you know that the only three things absolutely have to happen on your wedding day?
- That is the signing of your marriage certificate (plus one for the government and one for your celebrant)
- Your celebrant needs to say a few words about what marriage is in Australia, simply that marriage in Australia is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others entered into for life.
- Finally, the bride and groom must verbally confess their desire to marry one another; usually these are called the vows.
You might have noticed a few things missing from that list: walking down the aisle, wearing a dress or a suit, time limitations, location specifications, number of guests, which side the bride and groom are on and which sides their friends and families sit on.
Wedding tradition pretty much fills the rest of the bill of a stereotypical wedding in 2013. Tradition and laziness.
Not all tradition is bad, and laziness isn’t terrible either. But with measure and with reason.
Here are my top five ways to make your wedding awesome, and not boring.
1. Look at every wedding tradition you’re thinking of doing, and find out why people do it, and make sure it lines up with your beliefs and principles. Do this particularly for walking down the aisle and reasons people have a bridal party.
2. Decide on the timing of your wedding day around the answer to this question: How do you party? Not your photographer’s availability or the itinerary given to you by the wedding venue. All of us in the industry are at your service on your wedding day, so tell us when you where you want us and when. Some people love sunrises and some people love lunch. Make it all work out how you want.
3. What’s the difference to you between a ceremony and a reception? Is it just an excuse to rent more chairs, hire another venue, make the day even longer? Why not integrate the marriage ceremony and the reception (why don’t we just call it the wedding party?). I’m performing a wedding ceremony soon that will actually follow a lunchtime soirée, it’s a ceremony that means something to the couple, only separate the two events if that means something to you.
4. All of that stuff that boring and normal celebrants say in the ceremony, what does it even mean? Make sure your celebrant is celebrating your marriage, not everyones. If your celebrant is bringing the same ceremony he or she brought to the last 500 weddings they performed how on earth can it be celebrating your unique and special relationship? Make sure that the ceremonial attributes of your day reflect your beliefs, your culture, and your principles.
5. Don’t do stuff just because that’s what happens at a wedding. Also, don’t do weird stuff for weird’s sake either. Create your own day. One that is 100% truly yours.
Comment below with your own ideas to make your wedding day awesome.
The post Why most weddings are boring, and how to make sure yours isn’t appeared first on Fun, young, male celebrant, Josh Withers, Brisbane wedding celebrant.